Everything Else Is Consequence

This morning, my wife made breakfast burritos…

Cheese, eggs, sausage, warm flour tortilla.

Yum.

Usually, this wouldn’t be a problem, but right now I’m trying to lose a little weight.

Life’s been good.

The usual suspect would be to enact what amounts to…

An act of willpower.

“Don’t eat the burrito…”

“Don’t be weak…”

“Have a little discipline.”

Futile.

I’m beginning to think brute force is useless altogether.

Especially since I ended up eating the burrito!

Justified by using my wife’s labor as an excuse to indulge.

(Love her to pieces.)

But something interesting happened.

Before my first bite, I decided to use the power of observation.

I noticed the burrito and how appetizing it looked. I noticed the smell. I noticed the size. I noticed my body was anticipating the first glorious bite. I noticed my body now vs the body I want.

I saw as much as I could and saw it for what it was.

Then made a deliberate choice to take the first bite.

That distinction matters greatly.

Choices produce consequences and we’re responsible for those consequences…

At any point, we can see what we’ve been doing, and we can do it without turning to self-rejection or loathing.

There’s nothing wrong with any of us—at least intrinsically.

ya…

Maybe some of our choices aren’t conducive for getting what we want.

Fine.

But the act of observation is a different animal and there is no reason for putting our identities on trial.

For instance—

Later in the day, I passed a Starbucks.

Not surprisingly, I immediately wanted said Starbucks.

Remembering the fond moments earlier in the day with my lovely wife and a tasty burrito, armed with a lesson about observation, I decided to try a little experiment.

I took the image of that sugary caffeinated drink hijacking my awareness and tried scratching it out.

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

I tried making the image smaller.

Tried throwing it around my mind.

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Again.

Until the image lost some of its power.

Did it completely eliminate the craving?

No.

Did the craving feel a little less potent?…

A little less powerful?

Yeah.

It did.

This doesn’t mean I’ve discovered some magical craving cure though…

Far from it.

It was merely an experiment.

But it showed there may be some room between experiencing a craving and giving in to it.

Then it dawned on me…

Could I take this a little further?

I think I can.

So I tried a second little experiment.

Replace the image I just weakened with something else completely:

Water.

Tea.

Vitality.

The thing I actually want.

A healthy body.

Turns out it helps to give our minds somewhere to go.

To make sure, I tried again against a box of See’s candies.

An assortment of chocolate nuts & chews with California-grown walnuts, almonds, rich caramel and more, enrobed in layers of milk & dark chocolate.

OMG 🤤

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Twist, twist, twist.

Replace image with something better.

Then…

By the power vested in me, I “chose.”

I ate one piece.

Does this count?

I think so.

So many people—when they think of change—want wild, radical, immediate, overnight results.

They want dramatic before-and-after pictures.

They want triumph without sacrifice…

Glory without struggle.

They think change is fast—which it is—but they forget that effects are slow.

Decisions happen in a moment…

Visible results require time and sustained effort.

It’s a lot like watching a child grow.

They are always growing from moment to moment and we can’t see it happening.

But periodically you notice differences.

This is usually the point where we’re told to start changing everything around us.

“Don’t bring chips home.”

“Remove temptation.”

“Make bad choices harder and good choices easier.”

But what happens when you don’t get to choose your environment?

Imagine a young man who’s never been disciplined suddenly finding themselves in boot camp for the United States Marine Corps.

It’s artificial and highly controlled.

There are no clocks.

No individuality.

Everyone gets their hair shaved off and everyone wears the same uniform.

Hell, they can’t even refer to themselves in the first person!

Everybody is held to the same standard and that standard is meticulously and methodically enforced.

There is no rearranging that environment to make things easier.

There is no removing what you don’t like.

There is no waiting for favorable conditions.

The environment is what it is.

What remains is the ability to observe what is happening and choose how to respond to it.

Those who understand and wield the power of observation and choice can experience the same environment very differently than those who do not.

Maybe…

Juuust maybe…

The environment we find ourselves in changes as we change.

What we tolerate changes.

Where we go changes.

What we seek changes.

Who we spend time with changes.

And eventually, what surrounds us begins reflecting the standard we’ve chosen to live by.

Those surroundings then make certain choices easier and others harder.

That matters because raw willpower is a terrible thing to depend on all day.

We’re fighting stimulus all day long.

Food.

Advertisements.

Convenience.

Social media.

Something is always seeking our attention and offering immediate reward.

But making the hard choice is not the same as hating yourself into submission.

Maybe real change is easier than that.

Maybe it’s observing what’s happening.

Maybe it’s keeping the future you imagine top of mind.

Maybe it’s separating worth from behavior.

Maybe it’s making the next choice and creating standards that support an ideal future.

Then letting your environment change around you.

Give reality enough time to catch up.

Maybe that’s what we’re really impatient with.

Reality.

We make one good choice and want evidence immediately.

We drink water. Pass Starbucks. Eat one piece of chocolate instead of five. Go for a walk. Put the phone down. Get up when we said we would.

Then we look around…

See nothing’s changed.

So we assume our choices don’t matter.

But they do.

Seeing what’s happening.

Noticing the impulse.

Remembering what you want.

And for one brief moment, exercising your ability to choose.

That is change.

Everything else is consequence.

The body changes later.

The environment changes later.

Habits change later.

Circumstances change later.

But choice?

That happens now.

And perhaps the trick is to respect small moments before there is any visible evidence of change.

Not every choice will be perfect.

I ate the burrito.

And the chocolate.

But I also watched myself do it.

And somewhere between observation and action, I found enough room to choose one piece of chocolate instead of several.

Enough room to make a better choice.

Maybe that’s all change ever asks of us.

No hatred.

No punishment.

No dramatic declaration of change.

Just an awareness.

A direction.

And a choice.

Then another.

And another.

Until one day you look around and realize…

Reality finally caught up.